Too many of us put others on a pedestal and care more about their opinions about us than our opinions of ourselves. We care so much about what they think about us that we let them have power over us emotionally and we subconsciously believe that the answer is to try to conform to their ideals and beliefs.
When we know that somebody doesn’t approve of us, we become insecure about ourselves and develop needy attitudes. The image of them criticizing us stays in our minds night and day, their words repeat themselves endlessly in our subconscious and we let their opinions become the basis of how we ultimately view ourselves. As a result, we exhibit signs of anxiety when we are around new groups of people.
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One defends when his strength is inadequate; he attacks when it is abundant. — Sun Tzu
We all find ourselves in situations where no matter what we do, we can’t make the progress we want to make. Maybe it’s because our strengths aren’t adequate for the task or the difficulties of the situation seem to exploit our weaknesses. Either way, we are stuck. If we continue fighting in this scenario, we’ll end up with years of wasted effort and relatively little to show for it.
If you find yourself in this situation, the best move you can make is to channel your energy outside of this situation. You have to look for another battle, a winnable battle, where you can make the fullest use of your greatest strengths. Find a battle that has opportunities and vulnerabilities that your strengths can easily exploit; you will achieve considerably more in a shorter span of time.
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It may go without saying that many of our limitations in life are self-imposed. We seem to have every reason in the world to surpass them easily: we’re physically capable of surpassing those limitations and there are no obstacles standing in our way. Yet, we continue to harbor those limitations because of the fear of what might happen if we try to venture beyond them.
Fear is like an invisible prison that confines our habits and actions into a small circle of possibility. Even when we want to do something that is perfectly reasonable and acceptable to everyone involved, our fears cause us to hesitate and freeze up instead of letting our actions and words flow out naturally and effortlessly.
If you’re like most people, you probably have moments in life where you want to do something but you second guess yourself, retreat, and continue doing what you’ve always done to play it safe. You might not think anything of these moments at first but later you start to think about what might have happened if you took a chance and went after what you wanted.
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Have you ever met someone who can captivate a room as soon as they enter it and instantly become the center of attention? You can’t help but hang on their every word and as soon as they leave, you’re left with feeling of adoration and respect that seems almost magical.
In this heightened state, you can’t quite find right words to explain this affect they have on you; most people can’t. That’s because charisma is one of the most mysterious topics there are and the most challenging to define. Charisma is composed of a constellation of factors and if it’s missing any of those essential ingredients, it ceases to be real charisma and becomes something else that is less spellbinding.
Some examples of highly charismatic people include the following:
- Aaron Eckhart
- Marilyn Monroe
- James Woods
- Morgan Freeman
- Bill Clinton
- Sean Connery
- Al Pacino
- Dwayne Johnson
- Ellen Degeneres
- Joe Pantoliano
You may have wondered at one time what makes these people so charismatic and how you can attain this skill set for yourself. If you continue reading, you’ll find the answers to both of these questions and perhaps something else that is life-changing along the way.
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