When someone in your life is going in the wrong direction, you probably want to let them know about it but you don’t want to hurt their feelings or make the situation worse than it already is. You want to be honest with them but you don’t want to be so honest that you say something inappropriate that is better left unsaid.
People admire honesty but they don’t want to lose their dignity to get it. You have to keep in mind that when you give someone constructive criticism, that person is put into a vulnerable position. You have to choose your words carefully because you could easily hit them where it hurts and end up losing a good friend in the process.
But how do you talk to them in a way that will encourage them to better themselves without causing them pain? There are a number of ways to make constructive criticism more tolerable for people. They include the following:
- View life from their perspective – People will listen to you more if they feel like you understand their feelings and what they have to struggle with on a daily basis. What might work for you won’t always work for other people. View life from their viewpoint and then offer advice that fits well with their style of thinking.
- Observe and adapt to their body language – Body language is a good indication of how a person feels at the moment. If they appear noticeably uncomfortable as you give them constructive criticism, start talking about their strengths so that they’ll walk away with a more optimistic attitude after the conversation.
- Show them that their success is in your best interest – Give them reasons why you want them to succeed and they’ll feel confident that you’re on their side. They’ll trust you more because they’ll see that your motives align with theirs and they won’t have to bother questioning your sincerity.
- Focus on their short-term and long-term goals – Nobody’s going to take your advice unless they feel like they have something to gain. Give them logical reasons why listening to you will help them reach their goals faster and they’ll be sure to give you their undivided attention.
- Talk about their strengths at the beginning and end of the conversation – Try the “criticism sandwich” approach and talk about their strengths first. After that, touch on the areas where they need improvement. Then, finish off with another short talk about their strengths to soften the blow. This is perhaps the most fundamental advice for giving constructive criticism there is.
- Don’t resort to fear tactics – Sometimes telling people what might go wrong is a good thing but too many people go too far with this approach. If you put too much fear into people, their minds will be bombarded with so much negativity that they’ll start to act irrational. Instead, lead them in a positive direction so that they can approach their problems with a clear and rational head.
- Offer solutions to their problems – Don’t just tell them what’s wrong with them without giving them some kind of solution that would help them overcome it. They need some kind of starting point that will set them on the right path. Offering them solutions will make the process of counteracting their issues much easier.
The point is, you should do everything possible to make the conversation as comfortable and pain-free as you can for the other person. Not only will you maintain a positive relationship with that person, but their life will go in a better direction as a result.
—
If you found this article constructive, please share it on StumbleUpon, Twitter, or Delicious. Don’t forget to subscribe to Inspiration Central for free updates.
