Let’s say you have an idea that you’re passionate about and you know it would prove beneficial not just to you but everyone else around you. You know deep down in your heart that it is the best way to go. You know with complete conviction that it is the most logical choice there is to make.
But no matter how valuable or helpful your proposition is, it will never happen unless you can persuade other people to support it and implement it. You’ll never make progress in life if you can’t gain the cooperation of other people. With so many distractions all around us, your ability to sway people to your ideas is equally as important as the quality of the ideas themselves. In many cases, the power to persuade is clearly the top determinant of success.
That is why I compiled a list of 9 persuasion techniques that, if used, will make a huge difference in your life and the life of others:
- Focus on what’s in it for them — In 99% of all situations, people will care more about what they have to gain then what you have to gain. So direct most of your communication efforts on them and their needs.
- Only give them two choices: your proposition or something less desirable — Though this is a well-known persuasion technique, it is frequently ignored by many of us. Instead of letting the person’s mind wander off and think about a million alternatives to what you are offering, give them two choices: your proposition or something less desirable. This tactic may seem blatant and obvious but it will work as long as you don’t overdo it and you are offering something valuable and unique.
- Give an example of how your idea worked for someone else who’s just like them — People are more likely to be persuaded by your offer if they know it was beneficial to someone else who shares their characteristics. Once they know it’s helpful to others who are just like them, they will have adequate “social proof” to assume that it must be beneficial to them.
- Emphasize things that you know they will agree with and then move on to your proposition — When you persuade someone to agree to enough small and safe ideas, they will gain trust in your bigger and more ambitious ideas. Once you introduce the proposition that you really want to talk about, they’ll be more likely to agree with it because they’ll already be in an agreeable state of mind.
- Elaborate on its scarcity to inflate its perceived value — Elaborate on how easy it would be to find someone else who would take up on your offer. If their perceived value of your proposition is high enough that the pros outweigh the cons, they’ll have a greater sense of urgency in agreeing to your idea.
- Focus on their needs and the void that only you can fill — In the most respectful and congenial manner possible, talk about what is missing from their life which they undoubtedly desire and then talk about the qualities that you possess that will fill that void. Though this is one of the most effective strategies you can use, make sure not to focus on their problems too much because you might hurt their feelings. Touch on their need lightly and then talk about why you’re the best person to resolve it.
- First talk about what interests them — One of the best ways to persuade people is to first talk about what pumps them up. Ask intelligent questions about their interests, talk about why those interests interest you, and that person’s mind will be more receptive to what you want to express to them.
- Use indirect communication — If the person you are trying to persuade is resistant or the proposition you are trying to propose is highly ambitious, being too direct with them may not be the best idea. Perhaps, it will be far more effective to give them several oblique innuendos that will gently guide their thoughts to the direction you want them to go. That way they will believe that they came up with the very ideas that you’ve been slowly feeding them over time.
- Talk about the benefits and the advantages before you talk about the proposition — If you go straight to the proposition, people will naturally build resistance to what you’re saying because you’re expressing something that they haven’t gotten use to. Instead, talk about the benefits and the advantages first to build their curiosity and anticipation.
These techniques have been used for thousands of years (to great affect) and they’re all still in wide use today. Some of them are probably being used on you right now with you even knowing it.
But the most important thing to remember is to be honest and sincere with people when you use these techniques. Choose the tactics that would be most effective for the situations that most call for them. Combine them, use them in succession and the chances of people agreeing with your ideas will increase exponentially.
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In what ways have you used persuasion to attain what you wanted in your life? What other persuasion techniques do you find particularly effective? You’re more than welcome to leave a comment and let us know.
{ 8 comments… read them below or add one }
I loved this post. I was going to meet some sponsors for the movie I am making. These tips are going to help a lot! Thanks!
King Sidharth @ Meditation Rocks´s last blog ..Why Noisy Environment is Awesome for Meditation
I’m glad they were helpful, Sidharth. Good luck with those movie sponsors!
Hey Timothy.
I tend to do better when I use these methods. I use some of them, and don’t use some of them enough. I’d say indirect communication beats direct communication for many intents and purposes. People tend to pick up on the indirection quickly, and then see what you are trying to say.
Elaborating on scarcity has a huge effect. The torrent site MiniNova was calm and quiet, and then two days ago or so when it was about to be switched to a completely legal torrent site, there was a rush of people downloading and wanting to download files, because they felt the future scarcity. It makes our minds jump into protection mode.
Focusing on others makes our days go much more smoothly.
Cool set here.
Armen Shirvanian´s last blog ..Where You Are Is Where You Succeed
Thanks for the reply, Armen—interesting point you made about people’s minds jumping into protection mode when they feel they’re about to lose something. It’s been said that people are more motivated by the fear of loss than the desire for gain.
That must be what makes the scarcity principle so effective.
Hey Tim, sounds like you’re ready to write the right kind of sales copy. Sometimes persuasion is thought of as making people do something against their will, which really isn’t the case. I like how you cleared that up right from the start when you brought out that “You’ll never make progress in life if you can’t gain the cooperation of other people.”
Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..How Your Beliefs Create Your Reality part 5
Exactly, Jonathan. I knew that was one of the main opposing arguments to any article about persuasion. But there’s nothing wrong with selling anyone on any idea as long as we’re offering something valuable to them and no one is treated unfairly.
Hehe, we can never have enough tips like these. I like number 2 and use it a lot with my kids as in:
“Do you want to read a book or go to bed now? You decide?”
I think sales men use this technique but don’t think I’ve tried it on any adults yet. Too many choices are definitely confusing though. Simple options offered make for fast decisions.
Absolutely, Annabel. It seems that most people have the natural tendency to pick between two choices when those choices seem reasonable enough not to oppose. And in many circumstances, offering two choices is more effective than just offering one choice and expecting a yes or no answer.