There comes a time in our lives where we face problems and hardships that we don’t have any control over. A phenomenon larger than ourselves shapes almost impossible obstacles that we can’t overcome through normal and direct means. The more we try to resist them, the more power they seem to have over us and the more we try to accept them, the more complacent we seem to become.
If you’ve ever had to deal with a situation like this, remember that you are not alone. Sometimes bad things happen to good people and good things happen to bad people. That’s the way it is and that’s the way it will always be. We all have to suffer sometimes because we live in an inconvenient world dictated by the laws of nature.
“It is neither good nor bad, but thinking makes it so.” — William Shakespeare
The laws of the universe don’t care about how adversities and setbacks might affect us or how we might feel about them. What happens all around us in real life happens dispassionately and unapologetically. In an objective sense, it just is. There’s no guarantee that life will always be easy.
You probably didn’t do anything to deserve what has happened to you or what is happening to you but in the grand scheme of things, that doesn’t matter because you are part of something immeasurably bigger than yourself. What is going on in your life right now has to happen to someone or else it wouldn’t happen at all. And unfortunately, turns of events dating back farther than you can conceive led to the probabilistic conclusion of you being that person.
Don’t fall into the trap of believing you are entitled to something all because you are a good and decent person or that you don’t deserve the adversities you have to deal with in everyday life. Those thoughts will only lead you in circles and you won’t gain anything beneficial. The most you will gain from this thinking is resistance inside of you that will manifest itself physically as negative emotions.
Of course we don’t always deserve what happens to us but that’s the way life has always been. That is like being surprised that the sky is blue or that it rains outside. That is part of real life. The most we can do is find a way to make the most of our situation and move forward in life the best way we can.
Your problems contain opportunities that can’t be found anywhere else
What you focus on is what you give power to and will ultimately have the most influence on your thoughts and behaviors. When it comes to many circumstances, it’s how you react to them that matter more than the circumstances themselves. And some people unwittingly focus on negativity so much that they actually grow their problems bigger and more powerful than they were originally.
There’s a good side and a bad side to every situation, no matter who you are or what you’re going through in life. Just as no person has ever been all negative or all positive, no life situation is all negative or all positive. One may greatly outweigh the other, but it is never just one or the other. Even your most negative problems contain a valuable life lesson that could benefit you and the people you come into contact with.
“Every adversity, every failure, every heartache carries with it the seed of an equal or greater benefit” — Napoleon Hill
No matter how much the negative outweighs the positive, ignore the negative side and focus most of your attention on the positive and beneficial side. Do this because the more you focus on something and give attention to it, the more it will multiply and expand. Even if the positive portion of a circumstance is unfathomably smaller than the negative portion, that advantageous component can still grow into something much larger and more eminent than the problem itself. It could even become your greatest strength.
It all starts in the mind. Remember that what you focus on most is the direction where you are going. All a captain has to do is steer his ship by an inch and the final destination will be greatly changed as time passes. If you focus all your attention on the positive side of your problems, there’s no telling how different your life will come to be.
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Have you ever overcome a setback and became a better person as a result of the experience? Please share your story with us in the comments.
{ 13 comments… read them below or add one }
I think that if you have a “Can Do” attitude, adversity is actually one of the best things that can happen to you. It challenges you think outside of the box, to push yourself and to grow. If you can manage to get good results in front of adversity, in normal contexts you make success seem easy.
Eduard
You’re right. Strength grows out of resistance. Every amazing moment in history that we had to learn about in school arrived from conflict. The same is true in real life.
I appreciate you stopping by.
Thanks for this Tim. I agree with your article in that no matter how much bigger the negative is compared to the positive, we have a choice in what we think about. If we think about the negative, that is what we’ll get. If we think about the positive, even if it’s small, eventually we can manifest more positive thoughts and this can help us benefit from adversity and defeat.
Tristan Lee´s last blog ..How to Conquer Fear
Exactly, Tristan. Positive thoughts tend to attract thoughts that resemble them and the process continues itself endlessly when most of our focus is on those thoughts.
Thanks for sharing that with us.
Hi Tim,
When I began my spiritual journey, I learned a lot about karma. As a result, it made me realize that most of what happens to us (good or bad) is a result of actions we have done. The Buddhist and Hindus believe that deeds from previous lives may effect future embodiments. So we are never without paying for something that we did.
That said, I do think we have the ability to either see the positive or the negative in a situation. It is far easier to go with the positive for it truly is more beneficial on so many levels. We all have suffered. We all have pain. There is no need to dwell in it. We just have to take the lemons and turn them into lemon cream pie and just go forward.
Very interesting, Nadia. If I did have previous lives, I sure hope I was one of the good people. I wouldn’t want to suffer now for something I wasn’t conscious of doing 100, 200, or 1,000 years ago.
And I agree with the analogy of turning lemons into lemon cream pie. If we experience a hardship, we shouldn’t waste time feeling bad about for long periods of time. We might as well place a worthwhile goal in our sights and concentrate on that while always remaining thankful for what is positive about our lives.
Hi Tim:
Nice insightful post…you are so right about adversity and giving power to thoughts. I’ve spent a lot of time in my life giving power to the challenges and letting things get the best of me. But, I am learning to get beyond this and actually embrace it. I like the quotes that you included in the post…they fit really well.
Oh, and I liked Nadia’s comment about turning lemons into lemon cream pie. Awesome.
Tim´s last blog ..Weekend Musical Diversion: Cy Curnin
Thank you, Tim. I think we are all guilty of letting adversities get the best of us to a certain extent. I’ve been guilty of this too. But thankfully, the mistakes from our past don’t have to continue in the future.
Great post! Tim,
I believe in being optimistic and always look for solutions for the problems we face. In the face of Adversity and Defeat, when we momentarily lose focus, if we contemplate using our conscience devoid of emotional smokescreen or camouflage, we will surely find the answer. Trying to find solutions which benefit all for the good of all is very difficult. But when we face adversity with truthfulness, honesty and love we shall truly find the needed qualities to steer drive towards finding a solution and achieving a greater benefit.
So much has happened and so much to happen
With hope we move on and with faith we adhere
When lightning strikes our minds unbolt
Lo we find the treasures of the insight
So beautifully unfold….. Usha Pentareddy
That’s a beautiful poem, Usha. I’m so impressed with your reply, I’m at a loss for words. Thank you for stopping by.
Thank you for this! I have wondered where we ended up with this sense of entitlement to an easy life.
I was raised that life isn’t meant to be good, bad, easy, or hard. Life is meant to be life – the good, the bad, the experience of living! And, like you say, there is growth to be gained from every experience.
Jess´s last blog ..World Leaders Politically Unbound For Copenhagen
Absolutely, Jess.
There is growth to be gained from every experience, especially the bad. Too many people let themselves get so discouraged that they allow the obstacles in life to bring them down and take away all their hope. But no matter how bad the obstacles get, there is always an opportunity to give to the world the best we have to offer and make a difference in our lives and lives of others.
Your comment gave me more confidence.
Thank you Tim.