It may go without saying that many of our limitations in life are self-imposed. We seem to have every reason in the world to surpass them easily: we’re physically capable of surpassing those limitations and there are no obstacles standing in our way. Yet, we continue to harbor those limitations because of the fear of what might happen if we try to venture beyond them.
Fear is like an invisible prison that confines our habits and actions into a small circle of possibility. Even when we want to do something that is perfectly reasonable and acceptable to everyone involved, our fears cause us to hesitate and freeze up instead of letting our actions and words flow out naturally and effortlessly.
If you’re like most people, you probably have moments in life where you want to do something but you second guess yourself, retreat, and continue doing what you’ve always done to play it safe. You might not think anything of these moments at first but later you start to think about what might have happened if you took a chance and went after what you wanted.
You become fixed in a crucible where one side of you feels pity for not taking advantage of those opportunities while another side of you is gratified that you stuck to what you were most comfortable with to avoid being hurt. This is an endless cycle that will lead to a lifetime of anxiety and regret. If I were to venture a guess, I’d say that you were already well aware of this fact.
So the question is this: how do we stop this pattern of fear and do the things that we really want to do in life? One answer is to reframe the situation as a source of excitement and adventure instead of something intimidating that we need to avoid.
Let fear become your greatest source of excitement
As you attempt something that you’ve been fearful of for a long time, you’ll feel a rush of adrenaline course through your veins. This catches most people off guard because they’re not used to it and it’s a feeling that they don’t understand. But really, it’s your body revving itself up for an unpredictable situation.
In many ways, you can view it as enthusiasm that can actually be quite beneficial for you. It places you in a heightened state of mind. If you learn how to control it, this feeling can sharpen your thinking and give your actions a greater sense of alertness and purpose. You can view it as something to look forward to instead of something to avoid.
Once you start to look forward to this feeling of adrenaline, you will become what most people refer to as a risk taker. But instead of putting yourself in physical risk like the skydivers and snowboarders who are known to have this trait, you’ll place yourself in reasonable situations that most people avoid because they fear being hurt emotionally.
You will overcome fear not by trying to fight it directly but by looking forward to the energy and enthusiasm that it gives you. It will be in these moments of excitement when you will feel the most alive.
—
Do you have anything else to add on the topic of risk-taking and overcoming fears? You’re more than welcome to share you thoughts in the comments.
As an added bonus, make sure to check out my recent guest post on Advanced Life Skills called 14 Very Effective Communication Skills. You will find it very insightful.
{ 18 comments… read them below or add one }
Nice article Tim, this is a concept that turns people into thrill seekers once they get comfortable with the connection between fear and excitement. I like to say that excitement is fear turned sideways.
Jonathan – Advanced Life Skills´s last blog ..Exceptional Self Confidence In the Face of Challenges
Exactly, Jonathan. It’s amazing how subtle fear can be as well. One of the hardest parts of turning our fears sideways may very well be the initial process of identifying the areas where our fears are holding us back.
Well said, Timothy. I think most of us recognize that excitement that comes from overcoming our fears, but forget that rush when the next challenge comes along. Thanks for the encouragement.
Thank you for stopping by, Cheryl. It can be easy to forget the rush when the next challenge comes along, especially in the areas where we are most vulnerable. But I’m sure that overcoming our smallest fears first and progressing from there would create a nice snowball effect to make those bigger challenges a little easier.
my trick is to simply accept that im going to fail from time to time – every entrepreneur does. And just get on with things
Anthony Feint´s last blog ..How to Keep on Blogging, and Blogging
That’s a very realistic way of looking at things, Anthony. Most of us don’t have much to lose from most of the risks that we could take in life. And if we succeeded only 30% of the time by taking those risks, we’d likely gain disproportionately more than what we lost in the process.
Fear can be a great protector in certain situations, but we need to know when fear needs to be converted into excitement instead.
Good stuff!
Thanks, Ken. You’re right that fear is necessary for our survival but not for situations where there’s very little to lose.
I appreciate you stopping by.
Nice post!
I realized recently that fear is very exciting to me because I’m afraid of being afraid. I found that when I find something I fear, I look to fight that fear immediately. Its a strange problem to have but it is exciting.
Thanks for sharing.
Ralph´s last blog ..The Change Blindness Phenomenon and How to Stop it From Ruining Your Plan
Now that’s a fear most people wouldn’t mind having: being afraid of being afraid. It reminds me of FDR’S quote about there being nothing to fear but fear itself. The way you stated it makes it sound more relevant for everyday life.
I’m going to give serious thought to that one. Thank you for sharing that with us, Ralph.
Hi Tim. Very awesome post. I think we all have fear within us. I usually attribute it to fear of what we have done in past, and fear of what will happen in the future. You’re article reminds me of using fear and taking action in the moment. If we do this, we can turn fear into excitement and enthusiasm. Thank you for sharing this man.
We all seem to have fears in us that do us no good. You pretty much simplified why we have those fears:
“thoughts of what we have done in past and fear of what will happen in the future”
It takes guts to get over the initial resistance that fear places on us but it is certainly possible if we are determined and focused.
Great post! All of us have fear with us but we don’t show it in front of others. IMO we should not fear for all thing. We could fear for doing things that our conscience doesn’t accept.
Excellent point. It never hurts to listen to our conscience—for those of us who have it.
Top post Tim! I’ve always said that fear is the mechanism that tells us what needs to be addressed in our lifes and your method is a great compliment to that.
Wishing you success in 2010!
Amit Sodha – The Power Of Choice´s last blog ..For 2010 – 10 Unusual Places To Get Inspired For The New Year
I wish you great success as well, Amit. Good luck with your upcoming stand-up comedy shows. Break a leg.
Very interesting post , I suppose fear can be used in a positive way as well as in a negative way. But the idea of “looking forward to the energy and enthusiasm that it gives you.” Sounds great . Thanks for sharing ..Happy New Year..
Fatibony´s last blog ..Celebrate the highlights of our life as we approach a New Decade 20-10
Thanks, Fatibony. Confronting our fears instead of running from them all the time makes us view the world more rationally, I think.
Happy New Year to you as well.